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archived page

archived page

A memory of what was once the most important thing in my life. this page will now serve as an archive, should I ever want to return to remind myself or show my future children just how happy I was during the summer and fall of 2012.

at least love like this doesn’t make me sad anymore. Actually, above all it gives me hope. L & J are just one of those couples - eternal and idealistic, albeit tragic with their unfortunate circumstances. I can only hope that one day I’ll find someone who cares about me as much as I care for them again. 

Reblogged from wandering--elf

at least love like this doesn’t make me sad anymore. Actually, above all it gives me hope. L & J are just one of those couples - eternal and idealistic, albeit tragic with their unfortunate circumstances. I can only hope that one day I’ll find someone who cares about me as much as I care for them again. 

Small Update

I’m not re-reading very much of what I’ve told people about my relationship this past week, because I don’t want to slide backwards into that frame of mind again ~ so I’m not sure what I told you all and what I didn’t.

My long distance relationship has ended, officially and for what looks like forever. He is and will always remain my best friend, the support system to remind me there’s hope outside of Godawful-Georgia, 
but he’s not my boyfriend anymore, and I’ve been coming to terms with that for the days I’ve been absent.

As an answer to the questions I’ve been getting about why we broke up, I don’t have an easy, simple answer for you; in short: We both need to grow - a lot. Both of us, him especially, don’t know what the fuck we want out of life, and what kind of adults we really want to grow into. And, for reasons personal to us and nearly impossible to explain on paper, we cannot do so in a relationship with one another.

So that’s it, I guess. It’s morbidly amusing that my LDR didn’t end because of the distance. The distance, in a way, made us a lot stronger, closer than we might possibly have ever been living down the street from one another. 

I still have hope for every one of you that follow me, and of course for those of you who don’t, that your relationship has as good a chance as any to work out beautifully. Keep your patience steady, your heart light, and your spirits high, because it’s worth it. 

Love is blissful and, at its peak, the single most important thing that can ever happen to you. It can hurt sometimes, bite and sting at your heart, and in the end sometimes it’s not enough to keep two people together.

But I keep my faith in love; through all the tears and sadness, nothing has damped my passion for finding someone who can love me unconditionally, and truthfully.

This isn’t goodbye, I might return to this blog for support, my archive or even to remember one day when it doesn’t hurt so bad. But for now, I have to let it go - let myself breathe again, I love you all. 

This blog may become obsolete soon. I’m kind of heartbroken and I don’t know how much longer I can log in and admire cute couples embracing and promising their love to one another forever

I’ve done what my mother always told me not to do: I’ve put my happiness, damn near all of it, into someone else’s hands, and I just don’t think he feels the same way.

I’m just really lost, thoroughly upset and looking forward to my 2 weeks of no off-days because that means a lot of time away from this room, away from his shirt and the bed we lay in together.

Tumblr, what the fuck am I going to do?

Reblogged from justbelieveinmee

(Source: leilockheart)

Julie & Taylor Cover: T. Swift's "Sparks Fly"

I haven’t always been a cover fan, but I am absolutely in love with this version (and the original).

It’s just a beautiful song, written by a beautifully talented girl.

Reblogged from key-crown-ring7

Reblogged from wandering--elf

(Source: lettersfromvermont)

Forever & Always: Absence by Phillip Varady Sr.

Reblogged from 1170miles-isnt-far-deactivated2

1170miles-isnt-far:

My love is like the sun that warms me when I am cold,

And like the cool water of the brook that refreshes me.

My love knows the secret pleasures of my soul,

And delights with me in fulfilling them.

Who is my love but the soul of my soul,

And the reason for every beat of my heart.

Who fills me with life in the joy of her presence,

And returns to me more than I have given.

Come to me, my love, I die without you.

Each day is eternity, waiting for your touch.

Remove the tears from my eyes and the ache in my heart,

Be closer than my breath, all my days, all my nights.

I’ve been confused a lot this past week, not just about my relationship but my family and where I’m going with my friends as well. My boyfriend’s support and love for me gave me a spark of hope that one day I won’t be so damn stuck, and that feeling was…indescribable ~ Good. 

But with every day I don’t speak with him, every day I don’t get a kind word from anyone I work with or see through the day, I can feel my irrational fears and doubt scratching at the surface of my thoughts. They invade those thoughts and fill happy memories with loneliness and doubt in myself.

I just miss hearing from the people that I love, him especially. I want my friends to describe in painful detail the silly things that made their day distinguishable from all the rest, and I would like to hear someone other than my mother tell me they loved me before I go to bed.

Distance is rough anyway, but distance with a lapse in communication makes me paranoid. Not in the crazy sense ~ no stalking here, folks, I swear~ but I’ve had absolute shit-luck maintaining my friendships and relationships in the past if there is more than a few dozen miles difference in our locations.

Guess I’m scared, I don’t know. Tomorrow will be 5 days since the last time we talked at all, more than that since the last time I heard your voice. Baby, you’re so busy with college and I’m proud of you for tackling this all head on. All I ask is please don’t forget about me. I want to be a priority too, somewhere in that complicated, tiring schedule of yours. This is probably me overreacting, and you’re just enjoying your family and your new friends. Maybe I’ll feel bad for being emotional later — but: my relationship blog = my relationship thoughts. Not immediately, but some day soon, I’m going to need a little clarity.

Reblogged from wandering--elf

Reblogged from ijustwantyoutoostay

JISHDCUBCDJSA <333

Reblogged from highlightingthegoodparts

highlightingthegoodparts:

I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND TOMORROW.

SO FUCKING EXCITED :D

Haha I’m excited for you, that’s awesome!

celebrations

ALSO: this month his Birthday falls on the day after our 6-month anniversary. It’s a little one, but the idea that I’ve kept someone this amazing in my life for this long is special.

The gift for his birthday is already en route, and my devious little mind is thinking up anniversary surprises…

111 days, by my quick count, until I visit him and meet his family for the first time. That’s three months and a little over 2 weeks.

Being on a countdown again doesn’t seem as bad as last time. I guess that’s because the Trip planning and details are in my hands this time around ~ I’m visiting him on his Christmas Break from school.

I’m going to need to do some serious prep-shopping for the Islandic-Narnian landscape that is New Hampshire in January. Boots,a heavy coat, thicker socks, cute mittens xD

So excited to see him again, and meet the family.

Reblogged from 417miles-apart-deactivated20130